Skip to main content

Jerry Falwell's Last Words

Originally posted: May 15, 2007

Which do you prefer...? (All of these begin with the stunned realization something's terribly, terribly wrong on his face and end with him clutching his chest, collapsing and dying)
1) "This...better be...the...fucking...rapture!!!"
2) "QUICK...SOMEBODY...MAKE SURE YOU BLAME THIS ON THE HOMOSEXUALS!!!"
3) "Wait a minute, God didn't tell me it was today?!"
4) "Someone...call a hooker...I MEAN DOCTOR...DOCTOR!!!!"
5) "I see a bright light...a bright, red/yellow/orangish light. Why am I feeling so warm?""
6) "I'm not ready, Lord...I have more campaigns and elections to tamper with"
7) "But, without me, all those people I preach to will find out the truth"
8) "Uh-oh, NOW I'm in BIG TROUBLE!"

Jerry Falwell was a munipulative, racist, sexist, homophobic, fear-mongering, self-aggrandizing, blowhard who hurt much more than he helped Christianity, the United States and people all over the world. His hypocracy has been exposed, discussed, and debated for decades. What's sad is not that he died, but how far he rose as a "leader" in this country.

Over the next few days, we'll hear how wonderful Jerry Falwell was and all the "good deeds" he did in his lifetime and how we all should take a moment to think about someone like him. I've thought about it already. Just because someone dies, that doesn't make them a good person (Nixon was a paranoid cock-sucker, to use his recorded verbiage). Let's all remember the things he said in front of millions. 9/11 was "divine punishment" and the fault of homosexuals and liberals is a good one to start with (a statement quickly retracted once he realized that red light on the top of the camera meant it was on).

Sorry this is from Fucked Ruse and for subjecting you to
"I-LOVE-THE-TASTE-OF-NEOCON-COCK" and Colmes, but here's a clip:

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

giving humor a bad name

Why is it that when someone in politics - or just in the public eye - says something offensive, they back peddle and claim they were trying to tell a joke or be funny? Read the following article from Politico.com and you tell me, was the comment by Michael Barone of U.S. News and World Report funny in any way at all: Barone: Media wanted Palin abortion By MIKE ALLEN & ANDY BARR | 11/11/08 5:58 PM EST A roomful of academics erupted in angry boos Tuesday morning after political analyst Michael Barone said journalists trashed Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republicans' vice presidential nominee, because "she did not abort her Down syndrome baby." Barone said in an e-mail that he "was attempting to be humorous and ... went over the line." Barone was speaking at the Palmer House Hilton in Chicago, to the 121st annual meeting of the National Association of State Universities and Land Grant Colleges, which calls itself the nation’s oldest higher-education associatio...

Buckin' Fig is now open

Hey there! Well, I've decided to step out of the occasional myspace blog and start my own. Why? Cuz I wanna. I'll post some of my earlier blogs - the one's I actually wrote - here soon. I plan to post frequently, but that's subjective to me so let's say I'll post when I can about any number of topics. Welcome and I hope this works. Later Me

MY Awards for the Oscars

Ok , here's how this goes: I'm giving either a Pat on the Back for something I liked or a Flick of the Ear (using my middle finger) to something I didn't like... A Pat on the Back goes to... Jon Stewart, for doing a good job as host, with a clever monologue, funny intros (Tom Hanks won twice and now has no right to be here) and my favorite montage of all time, the Oscar Tribute to Binoculars and Periscopes . A Flick of the Ear goes to... Jon Stewart, for including the Barack Hussein Obama material in his monologue. Coulter , Limbaugh, Hannity and every other right-wing douchebag emphasizes Obama's middle name. I understand it was a set up for a joke but the right-wing pundits are jokes themselves, so I saw no need to pile on (Although, " Gaydolph Titler " cracked me up). A Pat on the Back goes to... Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for their performance and winning the Academy Award for the song, "Falling Slowly" from ...