“We are gonna have an awesome country once again. When I
get through with it, you won’t believe how great it will be. I’m gonna tell
China to go fuck itself, and if they don’t like it, let ‘em try to collect on
the debt we owe them. I will negotiate such a deal with China that they will
want to give America the reacharound it deserves. As your president, I will
make sure that Congress passes only the bills I want them to pass. If they try
any of that attaching their bills to other ones, I am gonna grab them by the
nuts and squeeze until they scream “UNCLE”! They have no idea what they are up
against. I am gonna sign so many executive actions, it’ll make their heads
spin. Then I am going to sue all the haters and losers that thought I couldn’t
win. We’ll take all of that money and use it to fund all of my research on how
to be a president and how to do presidential stuff. Believe me…BELIEVE ME, it’s
gonna be a phenomenal eight years. Yeah, I said eight, because my first
executive action is to make a president’s term eight years. That outta give me
enough time to put my name on every building, highway and object I can find to
plaster my name on. That’ll show the rest of the world that America is not to
be messed with. Also, I will kick out of our country anyone whose skin color
doesn’t match mine. That will not only purify our nation, but will create
millions of jobs in the spray-tanning industry. BOOM! More jobs! I will leave
you with this: They said I couldn’t do it. They all said I couldn’t win, and
here we are. Me, Donald J. Trump telling the world how it’s gonna be. Good ble…wait,
Fuck God…I bless you and I bless America.”
* before you get into the post below, just know that I've been up for hours working on it and for some reason, there were problems with almost every video I tried to embed. Some I could change to a link, some wouldn't. I will try editing later, but for now, here's what I have: First, I pick up my wonderful girlfriend, Jenny and we head over to the Pauley Pavillion at UCLA . We got to see VH1 Rock Honors The WHO . We arrived around 7:30 for an 8pm show. We found our seats (which were up high, but it's a smaller venue and I couldn't really shell out $300/ticket) and soon after, the announcement came over the P.A.: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats. The show will begin in 3 minutes. Sure enough, three minutes later, The video montage starts up on the monitors. Quick shots of a myriad of Who fans describing why The Who is the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World . Dave Navarro, Slash , Joan Jett , Cameron Crowe , Harry Shearer , Billy Bob T
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