“We are gonna have an awesome country once again. When I get through with it, you won’t believe how great it will be. I’m gonna tell China to go fuck itself, and if they don’t like it, let ‘em try to collect on the debt we owe them. I will negotiate such a deal with China that they will want to give America the reacharound it deserves. As your president, I will make sure that Congress passes only the bills I want them to pass. If they try any of that attaching their bills to other ones, I am gonna grab them by the nuts and squeeze until they scream “UNCLE”! They have no idea what they are up against. I am gonna sign so many executive actions, it’ll make their heads spin. Then I am going to sue all the haters and losers that thought I couldn’t win. We’ll take all of that money and use it to fund all of my research on how to be a president and how to do presidential stuff. Believe me…BELIEVE ME, it’s gonna be a phenomenal eight years. Yeah, I said eight, because my first executive actio
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