Buckin' Fig -The Blog with BERSONALITY

giving humor a bad name

2008-11-12T07:12:00.000-08:00

Why is it that when someone in politics - or just in the public eye - says something offensive, they back peddle and claim they were trying to tell a joke or be funny?

Read the following article from Politico.com and you tell me, was the comment by Michael Barone of U.S. News and World Report funny in any way at all:

Barone: Media wanted Palin abortion
By MIKE ALLEN & ANDY BARR | 11/11/08 5:58 PM EST

A roomful of academics erupted in angry boos Tuesday morning after political analyst Michael Barone said journalists trashed Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republicans' vice presidential nominee, because "she did not abort her Down syndrome baby."

Barone said in an e-mail that he "was attempting to be humorous and ... went over the line."

Barone was speaking at the Palmer House Hilton in Chicago, to the 121st annual meeting of the National Association of State Universities and Land Grant Colleges, which calls itself the nation’s oldest higher-education association.

“The liberal media attacked Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down syndrome baby," Barone said, according to accounts by attendees. "They wanted her to kill that child. ... I'm talking about my media colleagues with whom I've worked for 35 years.”

Barone, a popular speaker on the paid lecture circuit, is a senior writer for U.S. News & World Report and principal coauthor of “The Almanac of American Politics."

About 500 people were in the room, and some walked out.

Barone did not dispute the accounts of his remarks. Asked about the comments, Barone said in an e-mail that he "was attempting to be humorous and, as many in public do, went over the line."

"Sorry for that," Barone said. "I was trying to focus on press hostility to Palin. I agree with [Washington Post media reporter and CNN 'Reliable Sources' host] Howard Kurtz that the press was much more interested in tracking down negative information on Palin than Obama."

Palin’s youngest child, her son Trig, was born in April. Televised shots of him during her convention speech helped endear her to conservatives. During the campaign, she said she would use the vice presidency to help families with special-needs children.

Barone was speaking at a general session of a conference titled "National Implications of the 2008 Presidential Election.”

At the start of his talk, Barone also did an informal, show-of-hands poll about cable news preferences. Attendees said the results were roughly MSNBC, 35 percent; CNN, 55 percent; and Fox News, 10 percent.

"I often do that," Barone explained by e-mail. "It's fun."

The education group's vice president of public affairs, Paul F. Hassen, confirmed the gist of the remarks. Barone said the quotes, which were from notes and not from a tape, were "not too far off."

What part of that was funny? Seriously, leave a comment and tell me because - for the life of me - I can't figure out what part of “The liberal media attacked Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down syndrome baby...They wanted her to kill that child. ... I'm talking about my media colleagues with whom I've worked for 35 years" is funny.

Gerald Ford is right (again)

2008-11-05T03:52:00.000-08:00

I was with my best girl at my best friend's place with some of the best people I've ever known...and I had the best time.

so THAT'S what it's like to enjoy an election night party. Now I see why the republicans lie, cheat, steal, smear, intimidate, and soar to new heights of fear-mongering and hypocrisy to win an election. It's a hell of a good feeling.

I think this shows that America has come out of its 9/11 shock. Took a while, but we're healing. We still have more to go, but damn if this isn't a huge step in the right direction.

Good job, America! Keep it up!

"My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over." - Gerald Ford

R.I.P. Cynic the Infotainer...? (insert Ming the Merciless's echoed laughter, some drums and "The Hero" from Flash Gordon)

Open Letter From John Cleese to America

2008-10-27T03:13:00.000-07:00

Source: Correspondent Email
[Mar 14, 2005]

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

John Cleese

I just wanted to save this on my blog

2008-10-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

cuz I wanted to. shut-up.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Sarah Palin: Country First

2008-10-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

I think when she says "country first" she drops the 'o' from the word country

Ode to Sean Hannity by John Cleese

2008-10-09T00:57:00.000-07:00

found this through Huffingtonpost.com

Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You're a profanity
Hannity

Palin calls for "new, alternative energy sources"

2008-10-08T04:39:00.000-07:00

This cracked me up. She's giving a stump speech about the only thing she can talk about: energy. Listen to the crowd after she says we need to develop new alternative energy sources and an "all of the above" approach.

Palin supporters respond to her calling for "new alternative energy resources" by chanting "DRILL BABY DRILL!!!"

Fuckin' idiots. HOW IS THAT NEW? HOW IS THAT ALTERNATIVE? (I know how it's energy and a resource).

I guess her supporters really are like her.

Sarah Palin is so smart...

2008-10-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

she doesn't even understand what an interview is:

Next time, she should submit the questions she wants asked to Katie Couric. Between this and the debate, she's proven she'll never answer a straight question is she doesn't feel like it. BTW, Mrs. Palin, it wasn't that you were getting clobbered for answering or evading a question, YOU COULDN'T ANSWER SIMPLE QUESTIONS!!! If I would have been conducting that interview, it would have been very difficult for me not to laugh in her face.

Did I scare you with the title?

a comic dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations

2008-09-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

This is what I feel like when I try to follow what John McCain and his campaign are up to...

Every day, there's something else. There are so many to choose from, I'm not sure where to start.

Actually, I'll go this way: I'll sum it up like this...

There is only one thing republicans do not care about:
NOUNS.

NOUNS?!

Yes, NOUNS (why am I shouting? watch below, then read on...)

Now that you've had a refresher on grammar, let me explain:

People (other than uber-rich white people who make so much money, they don't have to care about what they spend it on, unless it's taxes)
Places (Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Darfur, New Orleans, Wall Street, other peoples' houses to name a few)
Things (honor, honesty, experience, integrity, the environment, recording equipment)

This farce of a campaign season is really showing us what the 2 parties are like. The conventions were the perfect examples. The Democratic Convention had speeches filled with the notion that, if we work on helping out the middle-class and the poor, then we can all rise up and take pride in ourselves and our country. The republican convention was filled with speeches filled with platitudes, mockery and an obliviousness I have not witnessed in my lifetime (Well, Bush's press conference right after Katrina comes in a distant 2nd place in that contest).

I wrote a blog before about John McCain called Senile, stupid or just plain sad? I believe I have my answer: YES.

I believe the choice of Sarah Palin proves the answer is yes.

Senile: Why would he be led by the failed neo-cunts unless his PTSD-addled mind couldn't stand up for himself?

Stupid: He didn't bother to let the vetting process happen when it should, so now he blames the media for picking on her. SHE'S RUNNING FOR POLITICAL OFFICE! THE 2ND HIGHEST IN THE WORLD!! WE CAN'T ASK HER A QUESTION?!?!?!?!

Just plain sad: He's allowed her and the neo-cunts to change him from War Veteran to Welcome mat, by changing his views on everything he had stood for these past 26 years.

Ok, also, how DARE he try to blame Obama for the financial catastrophe that's going on right now. It's the ultimate example of hypocrisy. How about the KEATING 5!

How about McCain's financial advisor PHIL GRAMM

(who's whining now, Phil?)

I just can't fathom how McCain can sleep at night. He attacks Obama for things he himself had done. He's lied about MAJOR things (His campaign manager was taking money from Freddie Mac and Fannie May until August). Hell, he lies about the little things too. He cancelled an appearance on Letterman, telling Dave he couldn't do the show because he had to get to Washington and work on the financial crisis, then during the taping of Letterman's show, he's on with Katie Couric (same network).

Letterman handled the situation with honesty and class:

Anyway, as for Palin, she's a joke you tell at a dinner party when someone farts during a quiet moment. A distraction. A farce. Dick Cheney in lipstick (oops, I used the word lipstick. Obviously, that makes me a sexist). If she's so qualified, let her talk to the press. So far, it's been Charles Gibson of ABC (Bush Doctrine question was unfair WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAAA!!! HOW DARE A NEW ANCHOR ASK A POSSIBLE VICE PRESIDENT A QUESTION ABOUT POLITICS!!), Sean "I-LOVE-THE-TASTE-OF-NEO-CON-COCK!) Hannity of Fucked Ruse (would you expect anything less than softballs and praise of her lack of qualifications?) and Katie Couric of CBS (Again, you ask Palin real questions, you get talking points and tap-dancing answers because she doesn't know what she's doing).

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on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and...well, you get the point...about Sarah Palin and why you should not even know who she is and how unqualified and ridiculous she is IN HER POLITICAL/PROFESSIONAL LIFE (her personal life is weird to me, but I'm willing to not add that on because it's what the republicans do and her professional activities are grounds enough to be stunned by such a poor choice by McCain, but there's not much need. Just read/watch the news. Even some at Fucked Ruse people are questioning her abitilies and beliefs.

Like I said, this campaign has become a farce. It's an insult to the American people, our founding fathers and what our country used to stand for before the neo-cunts took over.

Saturday, July 12 2008 - My night went a little something like this:

2008-07-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

* before you get into the post below, just know that I've been up for hours working on it and for some reason, there were problems with almost every video I tried to embed. Some I could change to a link, some wouldn't. I will try editing later, but for now, here's what I have:

First, I pick up my wonderful girlfriend, Jenny and we head over to the Pauley Pavillion at UCLA. We got to see VH1 Rock Honors The WHO.

We arrived around 7:30 for an 8pm show. We found our seats (which were up high, but it's a smaller venue and I couldn't really shell out $300/ticket) and soon after, the announcement came over the P.A.: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats. The show will begin in 3 minutes. Sure enough, three minutes later, The video montage starts up on the monitors. Quick shots of a myriad of Who fans describing why The Who is the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World. Dave Navarro, Slash, Joan Jett, Cameron Crowe, Harry Shearer, Billy Bob Thornton (with 2 guys flanking him; maybe his band mates?), Conan O'Brien, 2 guys from Coldplay, Gordon "Sting" Sumner, Billy Idol, Michael J. Fox (without the J.) and Noel Gallagher. Then, our first presenter appeared.

*Now a side note: My girlfriend is a HUGE X-Files fan. She has the entire run of the series on DVD, books about the show, and we're going to see the new movie in Milwaukee because we're going to be there opening weekend and we HAVE to se it as soon as we can.

Why the side note? Because our first presenter was none other than David Duchovny. She quietly freaks and asks, "Did you know about this?" I didn't. She then tries to figure out just what exactly she would need to do to get us backstage. One of the many reasons I love her is she immediately thinks "us backstage" instead of just her. May seem small, but I'm sure we've all dated people that would've thought, "too bad for you, I'm going backstage". Not Jenny.

Anyway, by now, she's all giddy and Mulder introduces the Foo Fighters. Since they can't help but kick serious ass...they kick ass opening with "Young Man Blues

",
as mean and chunky as it should be. Next, they bring out special guest Gaz Coombes - the lead singer from Supergrass - to launch into "Bargain"

The music was better than the vocals, but what the hell. Even Roger Daltrey has said "I'm a huge fan of Dave Grohl. He's got the mentality of a rock God", and, as I said before, they kick serious ass.

Next up, clips from "Amazing Journey: The Story of The Who" documentary (which VH1 has aired a few times already). First, about the early years (Marquee Club; how they "became" Mods) then about Tommy. Included are more interview clips from list of the names above about why Tommy is so incredible. We then see a pinball machine stage right and there's someone playing it. Someone with a brown ski hat with a silver ball on the top, large yellow sunglasses, and giant boots. No it wasn't Elton John, but Rainn Wilson wearing that outfit. Slightly modifying the lyrics to "Pinball Wizard"
he recites how, "From Scranton down to Pittsburgh, I've played the silver ball" and introduces The Flaming Lips. Wayne Coyne began inside a giant plastic bubble that which traveled over the first few rows of the audience. It was a bit awkward and he didn't get more than 3 0r 4 rows away from the stage before he was pushed onto it so he could emerge to perform a medley of songs from "Tommy".

Good stuff; good job.

We go back to the monitor to see more from the Amazing Journey doc, this time about Keith Moon and various interview clips about how Keith Moon was "The Jimi Hendrix of Drums", according to Noel Gallagher.

Now, here's where the show - for me - took a downward slide:
We see Mila Kunis spotlighted, and with microphone, off to the side in the audience. She begins an introduction for the next act by sleep-talking her way through a pre-written paragraph about how it's appropriate to have her there because she was on a show set in the 70s. Get it? Well, she didn't, because she had to stop and start over with about as much enthusiasm as beige. Anyway, she introduces Incubus (ps. Now, I hate them more because their "official" website has an ad for Days Inn at the top. eesh). They get to perform, "I Can See For Miles

and "I Can't Explain"

Now if I could see for miles, I could have easily picked a better group to perform and for the life of me, I Can't Explain why they were there, except for maybe...MAYBE VH1 thought they'd "bring in the kids" or something. Personally, I could have skipped that whole segment of the concert and not batted an eye about it.

and now, the show begins its upward turn:
Back to the monitor for more doc clips. This time it's all about The Who's sound and performance.
Entwistle's blistering finger work on the Bass, Moon's almost maniacal antithetical-to-the-beat drumming, Pete Townshend's cacophonous power-chords and pick-screeching , Roger Daltrey's vocal power...and a lot of instrument smashing.
Then, the clips focus on John Entwistle, his brilliance and a lead bass guitarist and his role in the band. This leads into our next act: Tenacious D.
KG grins as Jables extols The Who as "the greatest band of all time" (he's correct, btw) and they jump into an acoustic Squeeze Box

,

which was great. Perfect song for them, I think.

When we "come back from commercial", Sean Penn enters the stage. "We know that we're all here tonight because The Who never did sell out, unlike certain music channels," Penn told the crowd, which got a bit of an "oooooh" from the audience. Maybe because it was a dig on VH1. Maybe because - let's face it - play most people "Who Are You" today and they'll say, "Oh yeah. I love CSI!" (Not for nothing, but they did create an album in 1967 called...The Who Sell Out). Anyway, Sean Penn introduces Pearl Jam. Now, for those of you that are unaware, Pearl Jam - Eddie Vedder in particular - are GIANT Who fans. Eddie's performed with Pete at Chicago's House of Blues in 99. Well, easily, the best performance NOT by The Who this evening. We get 2 tracks from Quadrophenia:
"Love, Reign O'er Me"

and "The Real Me"

(personally, I would have switched the order they played them). They had their full band with a string quintet and a small horn section, which worked perfectly for both songs. For me, Pearl Jam wins "Best Covers" of the night (although, Tenacious D is a sentimental fave).

Next, a new set of clips discussing, mainly, Squeeze Box. How it's kinda silly, but still rocks and all. Why they didn't use these clips as an intro to Tenacious D performing "Squeeze Box", I have no idea, but I'm sure they'll fix it in post.

After another "We'll be back in 2 and 2!", we get more Doc clips. This time, about the more recent history of The Who. Basically, how Pete and Roger can still work together. What it's like without Keith and John on stage with them, new music, etc...

Suddenly, a lone electric guitar begins chug-chugging an A chord Bo Diddley style. Yes, it's Magic Bus, but it's Adam Sandler performing it, with newly adapted lyrics for the event.

Mainly, each couple of lines is about each of the band members. The audience joins in until Happy Gilmore say, "Here's they are...THE WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

OK, the band comes out to huge applause and immediately dive in.

Here's the setlist:
Baba O'Riley - from Who's Next - 1971
(somebody snuck a camera in so this is actually from the concert).
This one's better quality:

The Seeker - from 1970 (released as a single)

Who Are You - from Who Are You - 1978

Behind Blue Eyes - from Who's Next - 1971

2000 Years - from Endless Wire - 2006

You Better You Bet - from Face Dances - 1981
Now, this one, they had to start over after getting thru about 1/2 of it when Pete called it off after experiencing technical problems. I think a monitor went out.

My Generation - from My Generation - 1964

...that went into a riff from
Old Red Wine - from Then & Now - 2004

Won't Get Fooled Again - from Who's Next - 1971

Tea & Theatre - from Endless Wire - 2006

The entire show lasted about 2 1/2 hours. Apart from The Milincubus (or InKunis, if you like) portion, it was a great show. A once in a lifetime concert. The 1st time My girlfriend got to see The Who Live (although, they just announced Nov. 8-9 at the Nokia Theater so maybe she'll get a chance to see a full Who's Left show after all!).

The concert ended around 10:30, so Jenny and I headed over to our friend Jennifer's place for her Big Lebowski Housewarming Party. Luckily, I was wearing My "ABIDE" t-shirt:

(No, that's not me in the picture)

This next video contains adult language and intended for mature...well, it's not for kids:

We stayed for an hour or so, which was good. A very fun party!

Next, onto Canter's for a bissel nosh, nu?

After that, I took Jenny back to her place, yadda yadda yadda, I got home somewhere around 5am, which is ok for me as I work 9pm-6am, Sunday-Thursday.

So, that's it. Great show; great party; great food and great yadda.

Thanks for reading!

Later
ME

Senile, stupid, or just plain sad?

2008-06-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get the feeling that the problem John McCain has regarding his run for the Presidency is that he's oblivious to what the American people want. Poll after poll (I realize polls are skewed - particularly push-polls - and are really no way to truly gauge information or opinion) shows that the American people want change. An overwhelming majority in this country are fed up with Bush, Cheney, the war in Iraq, the economy, etc... ad nauseum. McCain seems to be clinging onto the Bush administration tighter than John Goodman wearing size 30 jeans (sorry for the visual). I just don't get it. 8 years ago, Bush, Rove et al. used dirty, slimy scurrilous tactics to discredit McCain as a legitimate worthy candidate/opponent. In case you don't know, the big one was canvas calling people in South Carolina saying something to the effect of "Did you know John McCain has an illegitimate black child?!", refering to the Somalian girl he and his 2nd wife, Cindy adopted. 8 years ago, McCain was an honorable man. He stood by his beliefs in the face of his own party. He called out political problems with Washington's politics-over-people policies (how's that for alliteration!). He co-wrote bills with members of the Democratic party (McCain-Feingold to name one). Now, he's sold his soul to please the right-wing lunatic fringe of the republican party. How sad.

This morning, he stated - on the Today Show - that getting our troops out of Iraq was "not too important".

WHAT?!?!?!?! How could those words come out of ANY candidate in this race, let alone a Vietnam Veteran? We're months away from the election and as of right now, I feel like every time I see him give a speech (with that patronizing phrase "My friends" strewn about the speech, which makes me gag whenever I hear it, particularly for it's disingenuous tone, like the entirety of his speeches have been) that he's getting farther and farther away from the man he was 2 years ago, let alone beyond that.

John McCain WAS an honorable man. Yes, we all value his service to our country in another war that shouldn't have been fought by U.S. soldiers (Yes, Gretchen Carlson, there is a 'D' in soldier),
airmen and marines. I do not diminish that in any way, shape of form. It's just that when I see him talk, then immediately see a clip of him saying the exact opposite years, months or even days before,

it makes me sad to see a war hero sell out to the kakistocracy [(ka-ki-stahk-ruh-see) - Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens] as often as he has. Is this what it takes to be a republican leader? Compare that to the Democratic side of the race. Need I go on?

So, is it that John McCain is old/senile and not able to keep his thoughts together? How many times has he mixed up Sunni and Shia, Iraq and Afghanistan? Well, he does have lapdog LIE-berman to feed him info on the spot. But still, this man is running for the President of the United States - a job that everyone refers to the most important job on the planet - and he claims he doesn't know about economics, doesn't seem to really know about the goings-on in the Middle East and doesn't seem to make any effort to fix any of that. Day after day, he gets in front of the media (who have RECORDING EQUIPMENT with them) and makes these pandering speeches with no sense of honesty, realism or sincerity and we're supposed to get behind that? After 8 years of the Bush junta, isn't even McCain sick of all the lies and rhino-shit that's plagued this country? I'd like to ask him one question: Knowing what you know now, if you , Senator, were of proper age, would you enlist today? I don't think I'd get a real answer because he's either senile, stupid or I don't know what.

Just sad.

Let's see something funny regarding John McCain's run in this election:

ah...I needed that.

Keith just keeps nailing it

2008-05-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

Just watch this:

This makes me happy and proud to be more of an American that George W. Bush will ever be. GOLF?!?!?!?!

Why do so many people suck?

2008-05-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

I know. I'm delving into deep, deep philosophical tenets after a hiatus, but I really wanna know!

Here's the situation (as far as I know):
I work Sunday through Thursday; 9pm-6am. I know, eesh, but the job is good and solid and I am finally getting paid pretty well. This co-worker works night shifts too, but on the weekends as well. Personally, I would just tell them that the schedule does not work for me and to try spreading the crap shifts around so everyone can rotate so no one feels like they have to take all the crap shifts (she's been bitching about - so she tells me - for 5 months). Last Thursday was a crazy day at work. Lots of calls from theaters with problems.
- BTW, My position is International Digital Coordinator. When a movie theater is screening a film digitally, I am one of the people that makes sure the theater has the hard drive with the film and the "keys" to open the film so it can be projected. There's a lot of minutiae involved regarding a lot of XML and matching server numbers to screen numbers, to name a couple of many, many different things I/we deal with on a daily basis.

So, last Thursday, we we having a lot of problems with a movie that was opening the next day; again, lots of calls. I was slammed with incoming calls from the moment I logged into my phone. Well, as the night rolled along, the calls didn't diminish until 11pm (I had come in at 6pm, so 5 hours of calls). When this co-worker took their lunch, I was on the phone with a theater in New York. The manager of the theater was taking a looooooooooooooooooooooooong asssssssssssssssssss time getting anything done. My job is to talk them through the process of whatever is happening. SO...the co-worker came back 20 minutes later; I was still on the phone with the theater in NY. The co-worker asked if I needed help. I told them no and I was frustrated that I was on the phone for so long. Apparently, this was taken as me "snapping" at them. So, did this co-worker turn to me and say, "you know, you don't have to speak to me in that tone of voice" or "excuse me, what did you just say?" or, for that matter, ANYTHING? No. Nothing. Not a word about it.
Cut to last night. We, along with a 3rd co-worker, had a nice little chat about work and whatever and everything seemed fine.
Cut to today. I came in early (Around 6pm) and my supervisor wanted to have a talk. He started by asking if anything unusual happened last week. I wasn't sure what he meant, so I offered one idea that wasn't what he was talking about (and wasn't a problem - I always worry I'm going to say something that would have a reaction of "Well no, but now that I know about that, you're fired". After 2 or 3 guesses, he fessed up and told me that this co-worker reported me to him saying I snapped at them. Since I had no memory of this, I denied it. He then proceeded to tell me that the co-worker in question has a habit of complaining and reporting others for all sorts of things. He also said that we're OK, but I should know that I should be hyper-sensitive (his word) in regards to co-workers and this happens fairly often.
For me, OK, lesson learned. I know I have a temper, but I try to control it as much as I can. Considering this was something happening at my job, my NEW job, in which I am still learning, I am extra careful what I say and don't say. A good guideline for anyone that works with others, particularly in an office setting.
Now today, when another co-worker arrived for their shift, Co-worker 1 starts talking about all sorts of things that have gone on when they weren't even here, causing Co-worker 2 to be taken aback at being called out for something which was pretty harmless anyway.
OK, lesson number 2: Co-worker is a shit-stirrer for no reason other than they are unhappy with their job. You know, I told my dad I wasn't thrilled with the hours I am working. His response was to say, "there are people who never like their job". I told him I thought those were people that stopped looking for the right job and settled (Invisible something in the sky knows I've done that in the past).

So I just had a talk with another co-worker (#4) and we talked about how CO-worker #1 is really bitter about their job - particularly their hours - and that's probably why this all happened, but really...WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE SUCK?!

Like this guy:

Bill O'Reilly goes nuts!
by shibbolethed

And he's been sucking for over 20 years!!
Glad I don't work with/for him...DOUCHEBAG!!!

My first demo

2008-03-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

OK, here's my first try at adding an MP3 file to my blog. I felt it appropriate to use the first demo I ever made as the test. It's me doing Peace, Love & Understanding. Again, this is my very first demo, so be kind

"A More Perfect Union"

2008-03-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

Remarks of Senator Barack Obama
Constitution Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Tuesday 18 March 2008

I can't wait to see how Fucked Ruse* spins this!

*(Fucked Ruse is what I call Fox "News")

TEXT OF SPEECH:
As prepared for delivery.

"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans - the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old - is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know - what we have seen - is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.

Thoughts (and a few pictures) on the Anti-War March in Los Angeles, 3.15.08

2008-03-17T19:27:00.001-07:00

So, a group of about 12 of us took a stroll down Hollywood Blvd. on Saturday to protest the war. We started at Scott and Paul's place for some pre-march activities, then walked down to the Metro. Got off at Hollywood/Vine - where the march started - and showed our support for getting the USA out of this ridiculous quagmire of a catastrophe douchebags call the War on Terror (which, as we all know, is stupid because you can't declare a war on a strategy). It was quite a turn out. We walked west on Hollywood, took a left on Schraeder, then another left on Sunset. Ended up in front of the CNN building on Sunset/Cahuenga. There was a stage set up for several speakers, including Mike (B.J. Hunnicut) Farrell and Ron (Born on the Fourth of July) Kovic. It was difficult to hear the speakers as we were not really close enough to the stage, but I think I got the gist of what was being said. Stuff I already know but have no problem hearing again. This war is a strain on the country. Bush/Cheney are war criminals. We want our country back. I kept thinking a couple of things:
1. Next time I see a long march/protest, I will understand that the first few hundred people will know what's really happening and the rest will be in small groups talking, taking pictures, and asking, "What did they say?".
2. Although I am proud to use my time to go down and show support for what I believe in, I really got a feeling of are-we-really-going-to-change-anything? I know that seems cynical, and in no way am I advocating that the marches stop, but I just kept thinking, Do Bush and Cheney really give a shit? Why - now - would they listen? they have proven over and over again that they do not care about America or Americans that make below a certain level of income, so is it worth it to march?

I think yes it is, because it is a way for all of us as Americans to show each other that we need real change in this country. Maybe this will add to the feeling that many have that there are people out there willing to speak out, even if it is to deaf (and in Bush's case) stupid ears.

You know, I'm just gonna say it: George W. Bush is a real son-of-a-bitch. Today, he felt it more important to bail out an investment firm than to help regular citizens in the housing crisis. He's not even pretending to care anymore. I really hope we see some true justice in regards to him and Cheney. By that, I mean that they will answer for what they've done to the USA. 4000 of our troops dead; thousands more injured, both physically and mentally. Our economy is in the toilet, unless you make millions off of others.

George W. Bush should have to answer for what he's done to ruin many aspects of this country. Him, Cheney, Rove, Rumsfeld, Gonzalez, and all the right-wing douchebags that continue to support them (and you know who I mean). When are we going to get America back?

Here's 3 more things in which they should be held accountable:

I watched the first 2 episodes of John Adams on HBO last night. I highly recommend it. You can see things in that mini-series that have relevance in today's political climate. People need to stand up more to show they won't be abused by their "leaders" like they have been - in particular, these last 8 years. Why do they get to get away with it? Money. Money trumps everything in this country. Money trumps justice, honor, dignity, truth, and honesty. That's not what this country was built on, what it is meant to symbolize and what this country stands for. Hopefully, these evil butchers of democracy will see what America used to stand for and pay for their actions.

Just in case, I in now way, shape or form mean that anything should physically happen to anyone I mentioned. I only hope that we return to Justice in the USA and those that have wiped their collective asses with the Constitution and our rights will receive due process, as well as some stiff fines, because they'll never go to prison, and we all know it'll be a better punishment if their wallets are hit HARD.

"Whatever-you-believe" Bless America

Now, I'm gonna watch Caddyshack. That outta cheer me up. I know I'M ALRIGHT!

Ernie and Bert go BRUTAL

2008-03-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

I put this up on my MySpace profile, but I had to have it on my blog too.

This is brilliant. The (very brief) pauses get me every time.

Calling Out More Right-wing Rhinoshit

2008-02-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

This is why the republicans are so completely out of touch...EVEN WITH THEIR OWN AGENDA!!!

Congressman Jack Kingston, republican from the 1st district of Georgia, goes on Real Time and questions Barack Obama's patriotism because he doesn't wear an American Flag lapel pin. The problem? Jack Kingston is NOT wearing an American Flag lapel pin!!!

Watch this: Congressman Jack Kingston brings up the topic of the lapel pin:
(about 7:45 into this clip)

Next, watch the Overtime segment, where they take questions from people through the internet:

Ok, this was live last Friday night (2.22.08)

NOW, check out last night's Live with Dan Abrams (2.27.08)

Congressman Jack Kingston had 5 days after being called out for not wearing his lapel pin and still didn't wear one when he was invited onto the Dan Abrams show to talk about THE LAPEL PIN. I'm guessing when the question of his lapel pin was asked on Real Time, he, after laughing it off and AGREEING with the viewer that posed the question, didn't for a moment think, "you know, I should probably wear my pin when attacking Obama for not wearing his". This is a Congressman. This is someone that represents people. His comments are supposed to be representative of his constituancy. I wonder how people in the 1st district of Georgia feel about this. Of course, Larry Craig doesn't even understand the question, "How do you plead?" and he's still in office, so what should we expect, right?

Just another prime example of right-wing douchebaggery? You bet, but what else is it? We all know that republicans have no concept of when they are being recorded. Time and time again, republicans and right-wingers are caught saying one thing then denying it. Here's a great, recent example:

"I-LOVE-THE-TASTE-OF-NEOCON-COCK" & Colmes (sorry you have to watch this, but it makes my point) had on Douchebag Bill Cunningham, the right-wing radio host that opened for McCain in Ohio recently and who apparently has no modulation control of the volume of his own voice, calls Barack Obama a "manchurian candidate"(1:40), then says he never said that (4:20):

I think they've been at this crap for so long now, they don't even believe their own shit anymore. I think these douchebags are so afraid their comrades (yes, I used the word comrades) are slipping away from their power positions so quickly - as they keep getting caught being themselves - that they are digging their claws into anything they can grasp to debase anyone with a different point of view. Look at how Limbaugh, Hannity, Ingraham, Coulter et al. all said they won't support McCain because he "reaches over to the Democrats" too often and is too liberal for their tastes. Throwing their own candidate under the bus (though Limbaugh has already admitted he's doing it so more centrists that don't like him will vote for McCain out of spite - what arrogance!)

To answer my own question, what is it besides right-wing douchebaggery? It's FEAR BACKLASH. The right-wing douchebags has been spewing the trickle-down fear from the Bush Cabal for so long now, they've backed us into a corner, and we're coming out swinging. No more are we going to let the Bush Coterie tell us that we won't be safe unless Congress grants immunity to the telecoms for conspiring to tap our phones, web browsers, etc... If Bush would rather veto the bill without telecom immunity, than to sign it, then George W. Bush is a traitor to the United States of America. When will this man and his cronies be held accountable?

There are way too many scandals to name here, but Olbermann updates them nightly on Countdown in a segment called "Bushed". Here's the latest example:

I may have gone off on a bit of a tangent, but I see the connection.

After these past 8 years of the Bush administration's continued coddling-their-buddies and fucking-everyone-else policies, I honestly believe that anyone that votes for a republican this November, hates America.

MY Awards for the Oscars

2008-02-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's how this goes: I'm giving either a Pat on the Back for something I liked or a Flick of the Ear (using my middle finger) to something I didn't like...

A Pat on the Back goes to...
Jon Stewart, for doing a good job as host, with a clever monologue, funny intros (Tom Hanks won twice and now has no right to be here) and my favorite montage of all time, the Oscar Tribute to Binoculars and Periscopes.

A Flick of the Ear goes to...
Jon Stewart, for including the Barack Hussein Obama material in his monologue. Coulter, Limbaugh, Hannity and every other right-wing douchebag emphasizes Obama's middle name. I understand it was a set up for a joke but the right-wing pundits are jokes themselves, so I saw no need to pile on (Although, "Gaydolph Titler" cracked me up).

A Pat on the Back goes to...
Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for their performance and winning the Academy Award for the song, "Falling Slowly" from the movie, "Once" (which, by the way, was excellent).

A Flick of the Ear goes to...
Bill Conti & the Orchestra, for taking a beautiful, passionate, simple song and coming close to turning it into a lush, heavy-on-the-strings blow out.

AND...
A Double Flick of the Ear goes to...
Bill Conti & the Orchestra for cutting off Marketa Irglova before she even got one word out. A real douchebag move no matter how long the show was running!!!

which leads me to

A Double Pat on the Back goes to...
Jon Stewart & Gil Cates, the Producer of the show, for letting Marketa Irglova come back after the commercial break and make her acceptance speech anyway (probably my favorite moment of the night).

A Pat on the Back goes to...
Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Javier Bardem and Tilda Swinton. All gave very good acceptance speeches and (probably) deserved to win, though considering I only saw one of the four performances, I may be blogging out my ass right now (sorry for the unfortunate visual of me blogging out my ass!)

A Flick of the Ear goes to...
American Actors. Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Javier Bardem and Tilda Swinton were the acting award winners. Bully for them, but not an American winner the bunch?! What gives, Hollywood?

A Pat on the Back goes to...
John Travolta, for having the courage to wear the black, pseudo-hair helmet Max Von Sydow wore as Ming the Merciless in "Flash Gordon".

A Flick of the Ear goes to...
Miley Cyrus, for oh, so many reasons:
1. Her vamping. "come-on-you-wanna-fuck-me" posing on the red carpet. (She's 16. What, is she trying to compete with Jamie Lyn Spears?)
2. Her "Oh my god, everyone's so old!" comments on the red carpet. (Right after the vamping described above. You're in show biz, honey. Either be a kid or be an adult. Your quasi-Lolita shtick is just creepy to anyone with a sense of decency or class).
3. Her being there in the first place.

A Pat on the Back goes to...
Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill, for fighting over which one of them was more like Halle Berry and less like Dame Judi Dench.

A Flick of the Ear goes to...
Katherine Heigl, for her "Oh-my-god- I'm-in-front-of-famous-people" presentation. I'm sure alot of you think that kind of stuff is cute. I don't. If you are asked to present at the Oscars, put on your game face and, oh I don't know, ACT like a professional.

A Pat on the Back goes to...
Whomever decided to have Jessica Alba host the Scientific and Technical Awards. I'm sure there were alot of chubbies under the tables when Sue "Invisible Girl" Storm showed up to host the award ceremony that the (very talented and deserving) nerds get to attend.

A Flick of the Ear goes to...
Jessica Alba, for her monotone intro to the Scientific and Technical Awards announcement with none of the winners named or shown at all.

And, Finally, a Big Pat on the Back goes to...
Scott Holme & Paul Wojciak, for hosting a fun, yet mellow Oscar party at their place

Ok, that's what I got for now. I'll add if I remember anything else.

Here's a list of the nominees and winners

Facets of the Moment

2008-02-26T01:37:00.000-08:00

an amazing girlfriend whom I love very much, and miss when I'm not with her, even when I hang up the phone after talking to her for an hour.
some great friends who I love and appreciate, though I don't tell them that enough.
no job at the moment (though, not for a lack of looking).
very little money, but a hang-up that somehow, my worthiness in this world is attached to how much money I have.

Hang on, the phone just rang..."Hello?...Oh, Hey Paradox...Uh-huh...Listen, can I call you back later? I'm blogging right now...Cool, thanks...Bye."

Ok, where was I?...Oh, yeah...

the same small apartment I've had for almost 8 years.
an obnoxiously arrogant, loud animal of an upstairs neighbor that STARTS playing music at 1:30am, constantly slams his door when entering or leaving his apartment and stomps around his place - as well as up and down the stairs outside my apartment - as though he were taking a rhinoceros for his/her daily exercise jog.
a 10 year old car with 37,000 miles on it (I got it from my Uncle Ray, before he passed away - hey, that rhymes!).
a willingness to - believe it or not - hold my tongue in order to "keep the peace" (more often than you think).
a modicum of talent in music and acting (which you'll hopefully get to experience someday if you haven't already).
a hyper-abundance of film, music and tv trivia in my head.
great taste in film and music.
a warped sense of humor.
a bit of sleep depravation (possibly a form of insomnia, but I'm not sure).
great hair (knock-on-whatever-substance-is-handy-at-the-moment).

Overall, I think I'm a very fortunate person.

One of the funniest monologues I've ever read

2008-02-07T23:44:00.000-08:00

This was HI-larious! Check out this link.
It's chock full of such creative, farcical, and uproarious perceptions about politics and the state of the world these days, my sides hurt after reading it.

She tried to go to the Grammys, but they said no, no, no

2008-02-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

Amy Winehouse will not be going to the Grammys (the British government would not give her a visa), but will perform via sattelite.

What the hell is she going to sing? Maybe she should perform a cover of Alanis Morissette's "Ironic".

OK, cheap shot, I know.

I like Amy Winehouse's CD, "Back to Black", but her song, "Rehab", is nominated for 4 Grammys. We all know the lyrics: "They tried to make me go to rehab/I said no, no, no". So, since she's in rehab now (doing well, according to her publicists), wouldn't it be hypocritical of her to sing that song?

What's a pop singer/tabloid target to do?

'Tis the season to be voting

2008-02-07T16:11:00.000-08:00

I haven't enjoyed a primary season like this one in SUCH a long time!

First, I'll say, I haven't paid as much attention to primaries in the past as I have this one, but damn, I sure picked a good one.

So, Clinton and Obama are in a dead heat (always thought that was a weird phrase). OK. I'm an Obama supporter, but if Clinton gets the nomination, I'm fine with that. If all of the Democratic contestants were still in the race, she wouldn't be my second choice either. However, if it's her, I can deal. I'd like to see how a female president would work. I think, very well. I do feel - though - that we need a real change in this country. The idea of Bush - Clinton - Bush - Clinton is not appealing to me at all. Yes, things were going well in the 90s, but that's so last millennium. Enough of the past. I think we need a real change, or - to paraphrase Monty Python - we need something completely different. I think that's Barack Obama.

As much as I like the fact that we have the choice - on the Democratic side - of either a black man or a woman this time (one of the best things ever), I am enjoying what's happening on the republican* side too. The right-wing pundits seem to hate McCain because he tries to work with the Democrats. Bottom line, that's their beef with McCain. He's too liberal, they say.

Let's look at their other choices:
Huckabee: The one still going after the now deflated Christian Conservatives. Yes, he took a few states in the South, but considering a lot of the now former leaders in the Christian Coalition are now defamed by their own devices, how is that really going to translate into a nomination?
Romney: He's the Ken doll that just dropped out so America doesn't "surrender to terror", so there's that. Personally, I think he's excuses are rhino-shit. I think either he made some deal with McCain or his five "patriotic" sons are getting worried about their inheritance.
Paul: Well, he gets little to no airtime, even when sitting or standing next to any of the other candidates, so no way he's getting the nomination. Sorry all you Ron Paul supporters out there...it ain't happening.

So, it's McCain and Huckabee left on the republican side. Right wingers hate McCain and Huckabee's going after the wrong part of the party. Sweet!
What's even better is how the right wing pundits are now saying they'll vote for Clinton over McCain. Limbaugh, Coulter, Beck. They've all said things about how they hate McCain and they'd rather vote for Clinton. McCain was booed at CPAC...and on and on...

Hypocracy, thy phrase is "right wing pundit"

* I do not capitalize the word "republican" until republicans start treating their Democratic opponents with a modicum of respect by not using the word Democrat as an adjective (ie. the "Democrat Congress") as Bushco. likes to do. It's demeaning and disrespectful and another fine example of republican douchebaggery (I know, redundant)

O'Reilly: "How can I be an even bigger douche? Oh, I know..."

2008-02-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

You know when you get into an argument with someone and then you're point is proved to be wrong? When indisputable, undeniable facts are presented to show your side of the debate is patently false, what do you do? What would someone with a modicum of common sense do?

Admit you're incorrect.
Possibly even apologize, if your erroneous point of view possibly insulted someone; anyone.

Well, that's what I try to do. I tend to think of myself as a fairly rational human being. One who can admit mistakes. One that can see when they've slipped by saying something or taking a side that's just flat out wrong. I believe that's what most sane people do.

John Edwards, during his presidental run, stated - several times - that there are approximately 200,000 homeless veterans in the United States today (a statistic he got from the Bush administration's study on homeless veterans) and that this is a travesty. He's correct. It is a travesty that people that sacrificed so much for our country are treated as though they do not exist, or they are somehow not important enough to do anything about. Indisputable facts. Undeniable facts.

Well, guess what? Bill O'Reilly has repeatedly said it's not true.

Bill O'Reilly doesn't like John Edwards. He constantly mentioned the $400 haircut; called him a "Breck girl". I believe he doesn't like John Edwards for a couple of reasons:

1. John Edwards is a Progressive
2. John Edwards is against Bush's tax breaks for the top 1% of our country
3. John Edwards cares about other less fortunate than himself.

Because of those reasons - I think - Bill O'Reilly used his program to besmirch John Edwards whenever he could. Bill-O's a conservative (claiming to be an independent, but, c'mon...really?!) talk show host on the Fucked Ruse Network and this is what they do over there. However, Bill-O decided that, when Edwards mentioned the Bush administration's statistic of 200,000 homeless veterans and added that line that they sleep on grates and under bridges, Bill-O argued the point. He claimed there were very few - if any - homeless veterans and, if there were any, to direct them to him so he would help them somehow. Then, when proved that the information was correct, Bill-O claimed that maybe it's true, but they're all because of mental or drug problems and the government can't do anything about that. He, to this day, refuses to admit the facts. He called Edwards crazy and said the only thing sleeping on grates was Edward's brain (does that even make sense?).

A group that cares for homeless veterans gathered 17,000 signatures of homeless veterans to present to Bill-O at the News Corporation building where he works in New York demanding an apology. Here's what happened when they tried to deliver the petition:

He sent out his little ambush-bitch, Jesse, to stall the delivery. Notice Jesse called himself a producer but never verbally associated himself with the O'Reilly Factor or Bill-O. What's the matter, Jesse? You scared? Embarrassed? A chicken-shit with a microphone?

Personally, I can't wait for Bill-O's response, if there will be any response at all. You think he'll apologize? You think he'll realize his megalomaniacal rantings are false and, in some way, make amends? I don't. I think Bill-O is in his own conservative bubble - just like Dubya - and nothing will pop it. I've never liked Bill-O becuase he's bully pulpit distorts any way it can to make Bill-O look like the "culture warrior" he really thinks he is. This man is now a complete joke

Below, I am displaying a few videos - chronologically - so you can see what I'm talking about.

Bill's Talking Points Memo (about the Democratic candidates):

O'Reilly with guest, Ed Schultz:

Countdown with Keith Olbermann with guest Paul Rieckhoff

O'Reilly slightly changing his story:

O'Reilly, again, slamming Edwards for bringing up the point on Letterman:

Watch O'Reilly start to lose his shit about it:

and Olbermann reporting on the petition delivery"

I know there's a lot here, but isn't thins a ridiculous point to be hammering away at repeatedly? How about shut up and find out for yourself Bill-O? How about going to a shelter?

I don't think Bill-O hates homeless veterans as such. I think Bill-O hates anyone different from himself. In this case, people that actually served our country instead of the chicken-hawk he really is. I never served, but then again, I'm not getting up in front of thousands of people and spewing this rhino-shit.

Now that John Edwards is out of the race, you think we'll hear anymore from Bill-O about homeless veterans? Doubtful. I'm sure he's gloating about how he brought Edwards down and jerking off to his DVR, which records nothing but his own show.

The 44 Year Old Cynic

2008-02-01T13:51:00.000-08:00

SO, it's my best friend's birthday. Scott Holme (a.k.a. Cynic The Infotainer) is now in the Year of the Magnum (that means 44). We're gonna be bowling and drinking and whoopin' it up, as it were.

I wasn't sure what else to put here. Then I found this birthday video from Sarah Silverman to Jimmy Kimmel, so here it is:

Happy Birthday, Holme-Slice!

We think it, Keith says it

2008-01-31T19:27:00.000-08:00

Once again, Mr. Olbermann nails it.

Yikes, just yikes, part II

2008-01-31T05:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, two hours later; still can't sleep, so...

Britney's been placed on a "5150 hold", meaning they're going to strap her down and blast the first Van Hagar CD on a loop until she understands some things just don't seem right.

Actually, it means an involuntary hold because she poses a danger to herself and others.

Not for nothing, but I read this part on the front page of msnbc.com. They got the info from TMZ.com. Up-to-the-minute investigative journalism or a vicious cycle?

You decide.

Yikes, just yikes

2008-01-31T02:58:00.000-08:00

Ok. This is what I get for not being able to sleep. Just seven minutes ago - according to Yahoo Entertainment News - an article was posted saying that Britney Spears was taken away from her home in an ambulance...again. Is it me, or did this shit stop being funny a couple of months ago when "Chris Crocker" was wailing to leave her alone into his webcam?

Just to be up front, I am not a fan of Britney Spears. Just not my cup of tea.

I wonder if there's anyone in the SpearCircle (tm) that knows what to do with her. She needs to go away...for a while. Somewhere helicopters can't fly over. Somewhere no one shoves a camera in her face (I'm talking to you, TMZ.com). Somewhere without microphones. She needs to be under constant care and therapy...a lot of therapy.

The cliche' punchline is Who'd a thought Kevin Federline was the sane one. Well, really, anyone? It's easy to go the child-star syndrome has struck again, but is that really all it is? I saw her on a tabloid show earlier Wednesday and not only was she wearing different colored wigs in each different location, she was speaking in a British dialect. Form what I saw, she was with a friend that was either from England, or faking it too. She probably thought he'd be more comfortable if she spoke his language.

FYI: Did you know that "Baby, On More Time", her first hit, was written by a then 27 year old music producer from Sweden? HIS name is Martin Karl "Max Martin" Sandberg. Of course, she was an 18 year old playing a high school girl in the video, but I'm sure not a single pedophile was effected.

I don't know. Honestly, it's not like I really care all that much about her, per se, but there's got to be a human being - not just a child-star - in that head, somewhere, right? And really, that's enough of something to blog about these days, so there.

Why "General Betray-us" and "phony soldiers" are important

2008-01-30T22:23:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: October 3, 2007

Both the Moveon.org ad about General Patraeus and Rush Limbaugh's "Phony soldiers" comments are examples of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution; Freedom of Speech. Both Moveon.org and Rush Limbaugh have the right to say whatever they want about whatever they want. People can agree or disagree.

Invisible Intangible Something in the Sky Bless America!!!

Where the problem lies (no pun intended, Rush) are the reactions. The republicans got all in a tizzy about the Moveon.org ad referring to General Petraeus as "General Betray-Us?"

Anyone notice the question mark there? It was in the ad, right? The ad wasn't calling him that, they were pre-testimony commenting on the fact that the White House was preparing the General's testimony. It was a hopeful - albeit ineffectual in the grand scheme of things - nugde to the General. A "Well, General, what's it gonna be? Your testimony of the president's?"

- What a powerful bit of punctuation, the question mark. Fox News uses it alot. Check this out: http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/09/14/jon-stewarts-hilarious-look-at-the-use-of-the-question-mark/

See, the majority of Americans have had enough of this administration wiping their collective asses with the Constitution; specifically, the Bill of Rights. When it was reported - pre-testimony - that the White House would be preparing the General's testimony, the majority of Americans became doubtful they would hear the truth from the General, due to the Bush Factor*. The ad by Moveon.org was an attempt to voice what the majority of Americans were thinking.

SO, the reaction:

The republicans pass a resolution condemning the ad and the organization. Does that surprise anyone? The republicans distracted from the real issues, like they are wont to do. The war is going poorly? So what, a left leaning organization is taking out ads in the NY Times!! This must be stopped at all costs!!!

A waste time, money and the Americans' focus.

Now, onto Rush:

{By the way, for those of you unsure, the monicker "Betray-us" originated with Rush, referring to Sen. Chuck Hagel as Sen. Betray-us.}

Rush Limbaugh is not my favorite person in the world. Just wanted to put that in there.

I've read the transcript - the WHOLE transcript - and heard the segment of the show - the WHOLE segment. There's something hinkey going on with Rush and his comments. I believe Rush Limbaugh is pro-troops. In actuality, I cannot think of a single American that is anti-troops. Really, can you? Can you think of a single person you've ever heard say, "Fuck those soldiers over there!" or "The policy is correct. It's the troops that are screwing it up!"? Of course not. The troops are brave men and women that have sacrificed alot -in many cases, everything - for this country and its citizenry. Rush Limbaugh used the term "phony soldiers" with the plural for soldier. You know, that 's' he uttered after the word soldier. His excuses for what he said are mixed, edited for content and conflicting at times. He shouldn't have said it. If it was a mistake, apologize Rush. "I meant soldier, not soldiers. A slip of the tongue. Sorry to any that took it the wrong way. What I meant was the one phony soldier, Jesse MacBeth.". BOOM! See how easy that was. Over. Done. Next... Don't then go on and refer to Rep. Jack Murtha as a phony soldier AFTER the controversy started, then expect us to believe you when you say Media Matters is misrepresenting you for personal gains.

The Democratic Party latched onto this and did the same thing the republicans did; condemn the comment on the floor of the Senate. I find this sad. It smacks of well-you -did-it-to-people-on-our-side-so-we're-gonna-do-it-back. nanny-nanny-boo-boo!!! If the situation were reversed - the "phony soldiers" comment happening before the "General Betray-us" ad. The outcomes would have been MUCH different, don't you think?

I guess my point is this:

HEY CONGRESS, STOP WASTING OUR TIME, MONEY AND FOCUS ON THIS BULLSHIT!!! ENOUGH'S ENOUGH!!!

DEMOCRATS: GROW SOME STONES! YOU TOOK OVER AND YOU STILL CAN'T DO SHIT! STAND UP TO THE NEO-CUNTS THAT ARE CONTINUING TO RUIN THIS COUNTRY BY ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING REAL AND NECESSARY! BRING THE TROOPS HOME! IMPEACH BUSH AND CHENEY NOW! THEY'VE DONE ENOUGH TO PUT THEMSELVES AWAY FOR A LONG, LONG TIME. YOU KNOW IT. WE KNOW IT. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR. QUIT BEING SUCH INEFFECTUAL PUSSIES ALREADY! YOU MAKE EVERYONE THAT VOTED FOR YOU IN THE '06 ELECTIONS REGRET THEIR HOPES AND VOTES!

rEPUBLICANS: QUIT FINDING USELESS THINGS TO PULL OUR ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE FACT THAT YOUR PARTY IS GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST DUE TO YOUR HYPOCRITICAL ATTITUDES AND LACK OR MORALITY IN TERMS OF AMERICANS' PERSONAL LIVES. HOW ABOUT LISTENING TO THE PEOPLE THAT ELECT YOU AND WORKING FOR THEM INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR A FEW RICH SHIT-DICKS THAT WOULD WILLINGLY THROW YOU UNDER A BUS THE MOMENT THEY COULD!

...but I digress.

The Moveon.org ad and Rush's "phony soldiers" comment are both important because they exercise free speech and show us that our legislators would rather focus on things that really don't matter - meaning non-binding resolutions and condemnations - instead of fixing this mess the White House denizen has put us in.

Speaking of distractions, I watched Fahrenheit 9/11 again last weekend. Britney Spears said then we should just listen to the president and trust what he says. You think all of her latest antics - to put it kindly - are really a neo-cunt funded scheme to distract us more? A wild accusation, to be sure, but think about it. If that was true, would it really surprise you? What political affiliation is OJ? Anyone? Anyone? Something R-E-P.., perhaps?

ps. some of you may have noticed I did not capitalize the word 'republican'. This is because they continue to use the disrespectful term "Democrat Party". When they show respect, they'll get respect, dammit! Fuckin' douchebags!

pps. Just in case, HEY rEPUBLICANS, QUIT YOUR BITCHIN'. FREEDOM OF SPEECH GOES BOTH WAYS. HOW'S ABOUT FIXING THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE TO THE REST OF OUR RIGHTS?!

*Bush Factor - term referring to the effect George W. Bush has on something (ie. a topic, issue and/or event); most often, negative

Emotional Breakdown = Development Deal

2008-01-30T22:21:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: September 21, 2007

Congrats to "Chris Crocker"! He got a development deal with 44 Blue Productions for a reality show based in his hometown.

Who's "Chris Crocker", you ask? Why are you writing his name in quotes?

"Chris Crocker" is better known to the world as the LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE person. His name is in quotes because it's not his real name. He won't reveal his real name due to possible threats.

Seems as though, "Chris" has been posting vids on youtube for a while now, but only gained worldwide attention bemoaning the treatment of Britney Spears, whom he feels is a true role model. "I always say Britney's been my mom ... Britney's been there for me when my parents haven't," he said "Chris" has been raised by his grandparents since his teenage parents couldn't.

OK, here's my problem. I happen to know alot of people that are very talented. Actors, musicians, writers, directors, artists, etc... They've been out there daily for years honing their craft, diligently pursuing their passion. Some have had some success; some, not so much.

To me, it's a real shame that this is how people get deals. Don't work for it. Don't struggle for it. Don't study, practice or create. Just bitch about meaningless shit as loud as you can until someone with a contract and a cranial vacancy runs after you salivating to cash in on your "personality" (note: that's Personality, not Bersonality, which is still available for weddings, parties, Bar Mitzvahs, improv shows).

Honestly, I have nothing against "Chris Crocker". Really. Live as you want to live. Mentally collapse as you want to mentally collapse (for all the world to see). Fine by me. Good luck with all of your success. It would just be nice to see that for every now-world-famous "Chris Crocker", there was a now-world-famous Cynic the Infotainer, Bill Chott, Eric Hoffman or Alyson Weeces, to name only a small few of the one's I've worked with, seen, heard and/or read that work, struggle and really create things that are original, smart and make people use their brains.

Also, check out my new reality show, "Bersonality's Bitchy Blog Banter", appearing this fall on the Fucked Ruse Network, right between "I-LOVE-THE-TASTE-OF-GOP-COCK and Colmes" and "Dennis Miller, We Hardly Knew Ye".

Brides of J.C. vs. Administration of J.C.

2008-01-30T22:18:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: September 4, 2007

Wow!:

Religion Briefs Coalition of nuns calls for impeaching Bush and Cheney

A progressive group of U.S. nuns has called on Congress to impeach President Bush and Vice President Cheney because of their roles in the war in Iraq.

"The National Coalition of American Nuns is impelled by conscience to call you to act promptly to impeach President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for ... high crimes and misdemeanors," the group wrote in a letter written on behalf of its board members.

The letter says that impeachment is warranted for their "deceiving the public under the false pretense that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction" and "destroying" the reputation of the United States and the good will of other nations.

"The time for impeachment is now — before the example of George W. Bush's regime is set in stone," they wrote. "Future generations will thank you for preserving the freedom of our nation and its relation to the entire human community."

The coalition was founded in 1969 for individual nuns dedicated to issues of social justice and human rights.

The letter was approved during a mid-August meeting of the board, held in Chicago. During that same meeting, the board unanimously adopted statements opposing all war and affirming peacemaking efforts. "Rather than continuing support of a just-war theory, a more compassionate church would oppose all war and teach peacemaking skills for all levels of government and interpersonal conflict resolution," the statement reads.

The board also adopted statements pledging to work to "moderate the impact we make on planet Earth," and supporting nuclear disarmament and relief efforts for the poor in Africa.

OK, so now, even Nuns are against this administration. NUNS!!!!!
What more do the people need? More specifically, could the Democrats use this to get some fundamentalist Christians back on their side by impeaching Bush and Cheney? Whatever works, right?

This just once again proves my point from my last blog that this Republican (re: douchebag) "Family Values" gang hasn't a clue about what Jesus wanted. They simply use Jesus to repress and excuse their own impulses and try to legislate and dictate to others on how they should live, according to their skewed version of Jesus. HYPOCRITES!!!!!

I think this is terrific.

HERE'S PART II:

I had another thought about this situation:

OK, so let's say you have a very close (best) friend that you've leaned on, and cared for deeply for many years. Through ups and downs, you've gone to this friend for advice and/or counsel and you feel closer to that friend than anyone else, including your own blood relatives. You've even told everyone that this is the friend you go to when you're in a difficult spot for guidance, reassurance and comfort...

Let's say this very close friend met a woman, fell in love and got married. For you, however, there's a problem...she doesn't like you, thinks you are stupid/mean/evil/corrupt/etc...

AND after years of putting up with - what she considers - your rhino-shit*, she tells everyone you know exactly how she feels and that she's had enough of it.

That would really suck, wouldn't it?

See where I'm going with this yet? If not, I'll continue (well, I'll continue anyway).

George W. Bush has said he goes to Jesus for guidance over his Dad (who has more experience) when it comes to making decisions in his Presidency, and now A WHOLE BUNCH OF HIS "BRIDES" publish this letter and (some of) the press reports it. I have no sympathy for GWB whatsoever, but man, that would really take the piss out of you, wouldn't it? Getting called out on your shit like that. Talk about an uncomfortable Christmas dinner!

* I use "rhino-shit" because "bull-shit" is overrated and I'm pretty sure rhino-shit is bigger and, maybe even, nastier that bull-shit.

ps. my best friend and my girlfriend get along and like each other just fine, thank you very much!

"Republican" is the new "Douchebag"

2008-01-30T22:15:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: August 29, 2007

As of this moment - or, at least, the moment I am writing this, I am officially desensitized. There is absolutely nothing any individual in the Republican Party can do that can shock and/or surprise me anymore.

What is this ludicrous theater troupe of hypocrisy & lunacy going to do next? Doesn't matter to me, I'll just shake my head and mutter, "Well what are you gonna do? They're Republican".

Today, a two-fer:

Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) pleads guilty in a sex solicitation case, and then holds a press conference apologizing for his "poor judgment" for pleading guilty in the case. Not for the actual act, for the plea he, a United States Senator, gave. The "act" happened in June. He's had over a month to think about what he would say and do regarding the incident. He stood up in a court of law and was asked, "How do you plead?" and this Republican Senator answered "guilty". Am I missing something here? It's either our judicial system works NOTHING like it does on SVU, or a person doesn't have to know a single thing about the law to rise to the level of one who legislates in this country (which I love, all you readers-getting-ready-to-attack-my-loyalties people out there).

This gets me thinking, why are people so obsessed with the others' personal lives in the first place?
Why should anyone care if someone wants to have sex with another person - male or female? Really, who gives a shit? What does it have to do with anything? Would Senator Craig be able to understand the question, "How do you plead?" any better if he were "allowed" to solicit sex in a bathroom? Of course not.
He would, however, still say the law should punish the citizenry of this country for the exact actions he performed; tat it shouldn't be allowed to go on in America and people that do those things are "Un-Christian" (Oh, THAT'S why people want to know).

> Side note: He claims he's not gay. Never has been gay, isn't gay now and will never be gay.
1. I don't care if he's gay or not. To me, it has no bearing on the situation.
2. If I were gay, I'd be happy for the dissociation between us..

Actually, I'm gonna go off on a tangent; ride with me!

A friend of mine likes to blog political (many of my friends do). He likes to go to extreme right-wing blogs and enlighten them as to why their viewpoint on the political horizon is skewed so erroneously. I say fine. Great. Speak up. They haven't overturned Freedom of Speech (yet) so go at it.

But I digress (realizing I have more to add before I get to the 2nd part of today's two-fer).

He goes on and posts a comment on one of these blogs with a salient point about a point of view - an "opinion", if you will – that is labeled by the right wingers as "Libtard" (get it? Very clever).

You should see the responses he gets.

EVERY response from the self-proclaimed right wing, god-fearing Amrrucunz calls him a "faggot" or tells him his breath smells like his Dad's penis or he's an ass-raping idiot, etc… My friend keeps on going after them, giving what he gets and it goes back and forth ad-nauseum. It's ridiculous. All the posts they put up have no political content – though it's listed under "news & politics" as I have done here. Then a new blog appears, which has as its title "Guilty Fag: Busted!!!" and goes on to tell all his readers how he defeated someone with a differing viewpoint. Nothing like explaining why the liberal is wrong in their thinking or how they proved their point…THERE WAS NO POINT!

Here's the deal on this: Just like the Republicans distract, misinform, lie, cheat and steal their way up the ladder of life, they have taught their followers – by example - do the same thing. Simply malign their opposition with smear tactics, vitriol and bile, then verbally high-five themselves for winning an argument. Brilliant. Rovian thru-and-thru.

I know a guy I went to high school with who told me if there's ever another attack like 9/11, it'll totally be the liberals fault. How can I see this as nothing but insane? Since when are liberals terrorists? For that matter, since when are terrorists liberal? Isn't the very definition of a terrorist someone who uses fear to manipulate others for their own gain? My Mac Dictionary has the definition as "a person who uses terrorism in the pursuit of political aims." And terror as "extreme fear" Now let's get real here: who's been using extreme fear in the pursuit of political aims the past few years? How many liberals warned us of smoking guns in the form of mushroom clouds? How many liberals have gone on the TV, radio or Internet and lamented how they (the terrorists) hate us for our freedom and want to kill us because of it? How many liberals have told us if we didn't vote for them, we'll be attacked again? I think you get the point.

Which brings me to the 2nd part of today's two-fer:

President Bush is warning Iran to stop their nuk-u-ler profill…proller…proliferation (well, HE said it).

In fact here's part of what he said from an article I read:

"And Iran's active pursuit of technology that could lead to nuclear weapons threatens to put a region already known for instability and violence under the shadow of a nuclear holocaust," he told the American Legion veterans group.
"Iran's actions threaten the security of nations everywhere, and the United States is rallying friends and allies to isolate Iran's regime, to impose economic sanctions. We will confront this danger before it is too late," he said.

Again, sound familiar? How on earth can he and his associates fuck up Iraq so bad and then expect anyone to listen about Iran? All the statements that led up to the war have been proven over and over again to be lies. OK, I'll even give them one on this; I'll say inaccurate. What kind of person blindly follows a person that does nothing but make mistake after mistake after mistake (again, trying to be kind here)?

By the way, it's well known throughout the world – well, at least, the rest of the world – that the people of Iran do not hate Americans and they don't particularly care for their own President very much (a small sign of Democracy without air strikes!).

What else, recently?
* Ted Nugent threatening Democratic Presidential Candidates with machine guns
* Hannity's defense of Ted Nugent
* Alberto "I can't recall" Gonzales
* The idea that Michael "Remember Katrina" Chertoff's name is being tossed around (and endorsed By Giuliani) to replace Gonzales
* Senator David Vitter (R-LA) on a Madam's client list (remember, he replaced a Senator that left office FOR THE SAME THING!)
* Senator Ted "The Internet is a bunch of tubes" Stevens being investigated by the FBI on corruption charges
* Rep. Bob Allen (R-FL), ALSO arrested on charges of soliciting sex in a public restroom and having, as his excuse, that he was "intimidated" by the fact "there was nothing but other black guys around in the park"

I could go on and on (actually, I have, haven't I?), but why? It's nothing new, really. Just another day someone in the government who list themselves as Republican is involved in a scandal that's completely antithetical to what they say they believe. You know, the "Family Values" gang.

...and just to clarify: I love America. I just hate that it's been hijacked by people who use extreme fear in pursuit of political aims and their supporters that are so blinded by the manipulation of a National tragedy, they can't act as they tell us to act and have no argument when confronted, just lies and/or venom.

Ps. if you are reading this blog and are one of those extreme right wing people I described earlier who plans on telling me what a cock-smoker I am, don't expect me to reply to your comments. Just get back in your mental closets and hide behind your fears like the douche bags, er… Republicans want you to do. Should be easy, they've played you like marionettes for so long now, you won't notice a thing.

Pps. If you made it to the end of this blog, please know I realize stream-of-conscience blogs take a long time to read (and write) so thanks for your time and my wish for you is that you get to see this administration be held accountable for something...those douchebags.

Jerry Falwell's Last Words

2008-01-30T22:09:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: May 15, 2007

Which do you prefer...? (All of these begin with the stunned realization something's terribly, terribly wrong on his face and end with him clutching his chest, collapsing and dying)
1) "This...better be...the...fucking...rapture!!!"
2) "QUICK...SOMEBODY...MAKE SURE YOU BLAME THIS ON THE HOMOSEXUALS!!!"
3) "Wait a minute, God didn't tell me it was today?!"
4) "Someone...call a hooker...I MEAN DOCTOR...DOCTOR!!!!"
5) "I see a bright light...a bright, red/yellow/orangish light. Why am I feeling so warm?""
6) "I'm not ready, Lord...I have more campaigns and elections to tamper with"
7) "But, without me, all those people I preach to will find out the truth"
8) "Uh-oh, NOW I'm in BIG TROUBLE!"

Jerry Falwell was a munipulative, racist, sexist, homophobic, fear-mongering, self-aggrandizing, blowhard who hurt much more than he helped Christianity, the United States and people all over the world. His hypocracy has been exposed, discussed, and debated for decades. What's sad is not that he died, but how far he rose as a "leader" in this country.

Over the next few days, we'll hear how wonderful Jerry Falwell was and all the "good deeds" he did in his lifetime and how we all should take a moment to think about someone like him. I've thought about it already. Just because someone dies, that doesn't make them a good person (Nixon was a paranoid cock-sucker, to use his recorded verbiage). Let's all remember the things he said in front of millions. 9/11 was "divine punishment" and the fault of homosexuals and liberals is a good one to start with (a statement quickly retracted once he realized that red light on the top of the camera meant it was on).

Sorry this is from Fucked Ruse and for subjecting you to
"I-LOVE-THE-TASTE-OF-NEOCON-COCK" and Colmes, but here's a clip:

The Penguin and the Model

2008-01-30T22:07:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: February 22, 2007 -

Dick Cheney killed Anna Nicole Smith to distract everyone from the I. Lewis (creeps call him "Scooter") Libby trial. I mean, if he can shoot a friend in the face and make it seem like it was the friend's fault, why should he have any qualms about offing a model?

And another thing, maybe models should get a new word to describe themselves. How about "living display" or "fashion prop"? Considering what I've learned in the past few months regarding eating disorders and body image, calling them "models" really is unjust.

Your thoughts?

Just a thought...

2008-01-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: October 9, 2006

I was at a friend's place yesterday and Team America: World Police was on. We watched what was left before switching to Real Time with Bill Maher. Both were great.

Today, I listen to Bush chastize North Korea for Nuclear (not 'nuke-u-ler', genius) testing. Now, I am in no way a proponent of N. Korea having and/or testing nukes, but am I the only one that finds it odd that Trey Parker and Matt Stone felt Kim Jong Il was more important when they made the movie over 2 years ago than Geroge W. Bush & Co. yesterday?

Takin' off to Mall of Americaland

2008-01-30T21:58:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: November 24, 2005

First off, a big THANKS to Ashley for carting my ass off the the airport before the sun came up on a Saturday morning. Mucho appreciado!!

BURBANK AIRPORT 6:30AM 11.19.2005

LAX is for SUCKERS!!! Burbank, or as it is called these days, Bob Hope Airport, is the easiest airport I've ever been through. Everyone's polite...dare i say, NICE?! That includes the passengers. There was a mix-up. I'm standing in a line, about 7 back from the desk. "THIS IS NOT A LINE TO CHECK IN YOUR LUGGAGE", bellows the desk clerk - Is it that or something more important/official sounding like customer service representative or another elongated title? Anyway, when the proper synapse fires, we all move over to the correct queue...IN THE ORDER WE WERE IN PREVIOUSLY. Lots of Please, you were before me's and No, no, you were first's are heard as my hope for civilisation as we know it inches higher. As I get my boarding pass from the e-ticket kiosk - by the way, e-tickets are the shit! - I move over to the attendant checking in luggage. "Are you carrying any film, batteries or family members in your luggage today?" he says with a grin. I muster as much energy as I can at the moment to smile and say, "Well, no. I only packed a couple of strangers." He belly laughs as though he's never heard that one before {remember, this is 6:30 on a Saturday morning...the sun's not up yet}. The line to get through security winds down several hallways. Every turn I make to get to the end of it chips away at my spirit just a tiny bit. Luckily, the line moves quickly. I get to the metal detector...I beep.

"Please remove your belt, sir."

"Ok, but normally, I only strip for people whose name I know."

"My name's Arthur, please remove your belt, sir." Arthur's having none of it, but remains congenial.

I beep again. He asks for my shoes; I give then sans another dorky sleep-addled quip. Arthur takes my shoes to a scanner, waves the wand over my body, and asks me to wait for my shoes, which need to be checked for any metal. Since they are Doc Marten's, I figure, no problem. I wait, shoeless, for about 5 minutes. Arthur's moving the line along.

"Um, excuse me, Arthur? I'd like to board the plane with my shoes."

"Oh, they're over there. Sorry about that."

They've been sitting in a bin, already checked and ready to go for at least 4 of those 5 minutes. That'll learn me to attempt humor so early.

- I prefer boarding a plane from the tarmack over going through the hallway. Dunno why, I just do.

19F. I always seem to be seated near the back of the plane. If I were a morose person, I would think, well, at least that'll give me a 1/2 second more to watch the plane implode before I taste dirt, but I'm not like that..am I?

The flight to Denver - our one and only stop before I get to Minneapolis - is uneventful. We go up. 2 hours later, we go down. When people ask, "How was your flight?", I always think, "Well, we made it, so it was good".

Why the hell can't I listen to my headphones during take off?!? Will my cd player really effect the communication between the pilots and the tower? It pisses me off. I used to be able to listen to music as we left earth. The trick was to synch up a song so you got a little intro and when the main lick of the song hit, the plane disconnected from terra firma. Many songs work:

- Pump It Up from Elvis Costello's This Year's Model

- I Am The Sea into The Real Me from The Who's Quadrophenia

- One Of These Days from Pink Floyd's Meddle

- The Main Title from John William's Superman score

Any song with a strong intro will do really. If you are reading this, post 3 songs youthink will work on the bulletin. We'll see who comes up with some good ones.

DENVER AIRPORT GATE B-18

The desk clerk - again, the job title escapes me - seems a laid back, easy going fellow, saying "What's up, my man" to everyone he sees and calling out the names and waving to every airport employee he sees, adding "alright" when they say hi back. I particularly dig his glasses. Two 2:35 to 1 shaded panes encompassed by a black & white checkerboard plastic frame. He begins to call out sections to board. I remember when they would call out actual rows. Everyone's cutting back, I guess. when I get to the gate.

"Good morning! How you doin'?" he syas with a big smile and his hand jutted forward ready for a good shaking.

"Fine, thanks. You?"

"Couldn't be better!"

I find it refreshing when people who have what seem to be thankless jobs love life and try spreading it around whenever possible.

11F. Hey I'm closer to the front than usual!

Nothing like an older - pardon me - seasoned flight attendant with a slightly wacky sense of humor. While one of her co-workers drones on throught the standard safety schpiel on the p.a., she points out the emergency exits as though she's a marionette. the expression on her lovely face is "I've done thins a million times before and I'll be doing it a million times more". When asking the passengers sitting next to the exits if they are up to helping if needed, someone says no - a first for me - and she lets them swap seats with another, all the while, trying to lighten the mood with flat one-liners she's probably said many times before. At one point during the flight, she walks by me and says,

"You alright, sugar?" {yes, she actually said this}

"Quite fine, thanks for asking."

Now I must admit, since I have a penis, her attention combined with her looks and southern twang turn me on a bit, but I don't think I'm a Mile High Club type. I know, why do I immediately go there? Like I wrote, I have a penis.

I look out the window as we are taxiing and espy the snow-capped Rocky Mountains. Espy - a crossword puzzle word, right Woj?

We land in Minneapolis a couple hours later. I walk through the terminal - there's that inappropriate word again - and notice a Mall of America store. Yes, the mall has its own store at the airport. Don't ask, I have absolutely no idea why. As I wait at baggage claim, I hear behind he, "Yo Jesus" - using the spanish pronounciation. Since I know it's my sister, I slowly twist around, spread my arms out to my sides, and say, "Yes, my child?". It's great to see her again. She's lost alot of weight since I saw her last and looks teriffic. Then, my Dad enters and when I see him, at that moment I remember he shaved off the mustache he had since I was a teenager. Great to see him too. The girls, Rebecca, 9, and Rachel, 4, are waiting in the car. I hug them alot cuz I'm the uncle (not the creepy kind like your thinking of, Cynic). All and all, the flights were fine. I mean, since I'm writing this after them, they must've been alright, right?

Ok, now it's time to watch some satellite tv, play some x-box and doze off whenever the hell I feel like it.

What the hell did I just watch?!

2008-01-30T21:48:00.000-08:00

Originally posted: August 18, 2005

ZARDOZ

This 1974 John Boorman written and directed film stars Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling and a bunch of UK actors I don't know - which for me is saying alot.

Set in 2293, the world is set up like this: The "Brutals" live in a sort-of wasteland where they are either forced to work or killed by one of the "Executioners" Connery plays "Zed", an executioner that wonders what it's all about. He and the other executioners pray to their god, ZARDOZ, a giant flying stone head that arrives, decrees and - what I can only describe as - spews forth guns and ammo from it's mouth before it flies away. Stay with me, here.

Zed stows away in the head under a pile of grain (grown by the Brutals as an offering). Inside, he sees a man called Arthur Frayn, which he shoots - he is an executioner, after all. The stone head lands in a utopian society inhabited by the "Immortals", a group of intellectuals that, somehow, banished death by, from what I can tell, declaring death to be gone. The only way they grow older is as a punishment for a societal infraction. When Zed arrives, he is seen as a disturbance to the balance and harmony of the community by some and a curiosity that needs to be studied by others.

Now, Zed, being a mortal, fascinates the Immortals and his energy/lifeforce invigorates the Immortals to question themselves and existence itself.

So, there's a brief description. I watched this one, then restarted it to listen to the commentary by John Boorman. He explains alot - not all - of the story. He admits there may be too many ideas going on, and, during a long montage, tells the viewer they can fast forward is they want.

After my 1st viewing, I wondered why Connery would take on such a bizarre part. I found out - listening to Boorman - that in '73, after Connery quit being Bond...James Bond, he couldn't get hired. Looking back at Connery's career, can you imagine him not being able to get an acting job?

I recommend this one for a few reasons:

1) It's a great, overblown mind-fuck, which everyone can use once in a while.

2) It poses many questions about religion, existence, procreating, and the nature of life itself.

3) There are topless women in it (deal with it).

4) Guaranteed you've never seen a film like it.

There are 3 tag lines for this film:

1) Beyond 1984, Beyond 2001, Beyond Love, Beyond Death

2) I have seen the future and it doesn't work

3) Into a world of eternal life, he brought the gift of death

Definitely some good eye candy to boot.

Buckin' Fig is now open

2008-01-30T20:38:00.000-08:00

Hey there!

Well, I've decided to step out of the occasional myspace blog and start my own. Why? Cuz I wanna. I'll post some of my earlier blogs - the one's I actually wrote - here soon. I plan to post frequently, but that's subjective to me so let's say I'll post when I can about any number of topics.

Welcome and I hope this works.

Later
Me